Choosing to be an "absent" dad

Today is the first time I have wanted to be an emotionally absent dad. It has been a long week that began with preaching on Sunday (at Eagle Hill Community Church), was filled awards ceremonies at school, graduation banquet & ceremony, and a few responsibilities as current chair of the church's elders. Many of these things were in the evening, so I did not see Sarah and the children as usual, and some of these activities also drew upon the social & emotional energy, not just needing physically presence. After having lunch together with the PCA staff and wrapping up the school year, I would like to go home tonight as Canada Day weekend starts, and relax on the couch and just kick back and watch the CFL doubleheader on TSN... and not be interrupted by Caleb, Rachel or Anna.

However, they feel the same way. Dad's been busy all week with other "meetings" and he got home "too late" most nights. But now dad's finally home! They will be so glad I'm home for the evening and want to tell me all about their day and just hang out and play cars or dollies or... I think its the first time I've realized how easy it could be to be physically present but emotionally absent. As a dad, I have to make a conscious choice today to be in/with my children's lives. I want to be, but its not the easy path or even the first-choice desire, right now. But I know it is right and will be the wise choice for the long-term health of both my children, my wife, and myself. Thank You, Lord, for giving me strength!

Father's Day 2012 Reflections

This year, we spent Father's Day in Edmonton at my sister Ruth, and her husband Nathan's home, driving up Saturday evening, staying overnight, and then attending church with them on Sunday morning.* On Sunday afternoon, we went out to the cottage of my Auntie Lois (father's sister) and a number of the cousins enjoyed seeing one another.

*At Gateway Alliance, they hosted pre-service remote control vehicle racing competition and then the top times competed during the service in a big screen MarioKart race. Needless to say, Caleb could not wait for the service to end and enjoy racing a remote control car himself, and I'm sure will be quite disappointed when the PTC does not have race cars on the tv screen during next Sunday's service!

Along with my sister Ruth and niece Tiffany, my cousin Carl & his wife Terryl and four of their six children were present. Carl actually lived with our family for one year so we probably have the closest relationship with him of all the cousins. Likewise, cousin Dan & his wife Jan and four of their six children were present. Dan's (younger) brother Ron, and his wife, Genetta, and their two boys were also at the cottage. All of these (I believe) attended our wedding in May 2007, though we had not seen any of them since then. Not only did everyone have a great time just hanging out together, Caleb and Rachel (and Anna) especially had a wonderful time with meeting, visiting, and playing with all their "new" cousins. As well, I visited with most pretty much every person and had the incredible blessing of introducing them all to the amazing family God has blessed me with...on Father's Day. On the way back to Three Hills, somewhere between Jungle Book 2 and Cars 2, when the children were sleeping for a few minutes, I put in Chris Tomlin's "Arriving" CD and had no trouble singing out "How Great is our God" and "Your Grace is Enough" (Too Much!).

What does every young Canadian boy dream?

About this time last year, I reflected on this question (see Every Young Hockey Player's Dream) and last week's Stanley Cup championship by the Los Angeles Kings brings up the question again. What does every young Canadian boy dream of as he grows up playing hockey? Not being the first overall pick at the draft, but hoisting the Stanley Cup. Drew Doughty (#2 overall pick by LA in 2008) lived that dream last week, not Steven Stamkos (#1 overall pick by Tampa Bay). Stamkos is an exceptional player, having scored 60 goals this past season. Doughty likewise is a superb young defenceman who could have also won the Conn Smythe trophy as the MVP of the playoffs. And he now has lifted the Cup as every young Canadian boy dreams!

Further note: The same reflection could apply to the 2004 draft with Alexander Ovechkin (#1 pick by Washington in 2004) and Evgeni Malkin (#2 pick by Pittsburgh) and the 2006 draft with Eric Johnson (#1 pick by St. Louis) and Jordan Staal (#2 pick by Pittsburgh) and Jonathan Toews (#3 pick by Chicago). Also in the 2006 draft, the Los Angeles Kings took Jonathan Bernier (#11) and Trevor Lewis (#17).