Review: Why Men Hate Going to Church (Revised) by David Murrow

I remember hearing about this book when it was first published in 1995 (2005). There were some  proponents who felt this book was long overdue. Others felt the book was simply a pathetic attempt to excuse male apathy in church. So, when the opportunity was given to review an updated version, I jumped in eager to read the arguments and examine their validity.

It is only fair to concede that this reader fits the small percentage of men who the church "connects" with - the verbal (able to teach/preach), studious (I read the book, right!), and sensitive (okay, many people would not describe me this way, but as it relates to the concepts in this book). Though I enjoy sports, due to physical limitations I cannot play, and thus resonate with the language Murrow suggests the church largely ignores that is men's preferred context/language. I can understand why male critics of this book would not agree with Murrow, because if you are a male church "star" (pastor/elder) and you agree with the thesis of the book, you are essentially admitting that you are a "feminine man."

The thesis of the book is that the main reason men hate church is because most aspects of congregational life are oriented towards predominantly female traits and styles. Part 1 seek to answer the question, "Where are the men?" and though not rich in statistics, the fact of the argument is really not up for debate.

Murrow actually begin arguing in chapter 5 (two chapters before part 2 of the book seemingly begins) that church culture and male culture are in constant structural (sytems) and functional (how things actually work out) conflict. From a one-sided view of Jesus (chapter 6) to the lovey-dovey worship songs (chapter 9) and many other symptoms, Murrow thoroughly points out how churches of the 20th century sent multiple messages to men that "church" is not the place you want to be talking about over the water-cooler on Monday morning. This part of the book is repetitive in some places, yet at the same time, it provides such ample evidence of how male culture is so diametrically opposed to most church language and activities, that one really can only cringe in embarassment.

Fortunately, part 3 offers some ten practical chapters "Calling the Church back to Men." By the end of the book, this reader found himself both convinced of the need for change to our church language and structures so that they are more "manly" as well as armed with some initial ideas for making these things happen.

This book was provided for free for review by Thomas Nelson publishers as part of the BookSneeze program.